I should be doing other things but eh…

I should be working but I’m not.  I am sitting at my desk though, so that must count for something.  I feel completely uninspired, unmotivated and quite frankly a little unwell.  Blogging is so much more fun than what I do for a living…actually scraping my teeth with an old spoon is probably more fun than my occupation, water torture, watching a teletubbies marathon…Yeah…the list of things more fun than my job is in fact endless. 

Besides my boss is kinda a douche.  The unscented kind.  

Oh and before I continue I must put out this disclaimer, “Although there will be many times during the course of my blogs I will threaten my dearest employer with bodily harm I do not MEAN it.  I may envision pushing the boss out the window but I will not actually follow through with the act.”  It is rather like envisioning winning the noble peace prize, singing the national anthem at the super bowl, eating ice cream every day and never gaining a pound…I will never do these things but a girl can dream.  Oh and prison orange does nothing for the complexion.  So why risk it? I am so vain. 

Today is one of those days when I know I should have stayed in bed.  I am so damned smart in hindsight.  That right I took a while back should have been a left…why didn’t I go to Columbia? Study medicine?  Oh the list.. the list…BUT actually all my steps and missteps have led me to where I am now.  And actually…believe or not, I am HAPPY. 

Cancer crap and all.  Happy.  Truly, deeply…It is a feeling that is so difficult to explain.  I wish I could bottle it and give it away.  I wish that the people in my life could feel what I do for even just a moment.  Sure you think…”bull poop” (keeping this PG folks keeping it PG..) Anyway, Bullpoop…how can anyone be happy when dealt such a crap disease.  Actually it is not as hard as people think.  See the way I look at it, I have ALWAYS been an optimist.  Actually not always…since I was about 11 I became an optimist.  And yes I DO remember the exact time and moment my optimistic personality took over.  But that is another story for later.  Anyway, I have a saying…”my clouds are lined in platinum” do you know why?  “Because silver tarnishes”.  Yep that is a Monica original…please give me credit for the saying if you use it.  You can say…”As Monica says…” Oh wow, I can see it now, I can start my own religion…”the Monica experience” Ok maybe not a religion because that is kinda creepy and a wee bit blasphemous…but…well I can at least start my own small cult.  “In the words of Monica…” hmm this may bear some further thought.  I will have to get back to you on it. 

But I digress…as always.  I am optimistic.  I believe that I can beat this.  I also believe that angels get their wings when a bell rings, that soulmates really do exist, that if I clap hard enough I can save Tinkerbell’s life (even though I always thought she was kinda a B**ch) and that I saw Santa Claus at a delta terminal in 2008…But yeah, I believe in a lot of things.  Things that bring me joy and solace.  But I have no choice but to believe in happily ever after.  I have no other option.

So I sit here, not working just typing away.  Trying to convey myself in these words on a screen.  I do not know if it is working but I will keep trying.  I do have to get back to my wonderful world of numbers and such..oh joy oh rapture oh happy happy day. But I will catch you all on the flip…tomorrow =) 

10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jennifer
    Nov 12, 2012 @ 21:32:53

    Monica, You’re amazing!! I love this blog and I love you! You’re humor and optimism definitely shines through. Great job and keep it up! I made a blog for my Dad’s cookbook that I’m working on in memory of him. Hopefully, I’ll eventually get it published and give the proceeds to pancreatic cancer. It’s not as funny as yours…but you can check it out for great recipes 🙂 http://cookingaccordingtojacquescookbook.wordpress.com/


  2. Dani
    Nov 13, 2012 @ 00:08:26

    You are a true inspiration.


  3. the1latoya
    Nov 13, 2012 @ 00:58:51

    This was awesome Monica


  4. moviewriternyu
    Nov 14, 2012 @ 00:07:38

    Great stuff here. Haven’t we ALL had an unscented douche of a boss at some point? I’m pretty sure it’s a requirement for us writer types… 😀


  5. amyslifeblog
    Nov 15, 2012 @ 05:50:11

    I understand being happy. Despite finding out my cancer is now stage 4 this week has still been a happy week. Mostly because I’m a crazy person who really and truly loves my job and I finally returned to work. I have been regularly doing the happy dance. Happy : )


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