This unicorn rides a unicorn…and in other news…howdy folks


Hi all. I know it’s been forever since I blogged. I am a bad, bad blogger and I hang my head in sheepish apology. Go ahead visualize it for a moment; it will make my contrition seem all the more real. I also had a stunning realization that a blogger with what doctors kindly term a terminal illness should not go and disappear from the blogging world without prior notice. People get funny ideas about that.

First off… I am not dead. Not even a little bit. Not a smidgen dead. Well actually……I do have some dead tumors and some are MIA. (yes I am snickering in happiness that you cannot hear) But I get ahead of myself.

I am sorry for being gone so long. In my defense; (aka the following are my excuses for my general laziness) It was tax season and my love/hate relationship with those ugly numbers never ends well. I had a few minor health issues. Minor really. Adjusting to a new chemo was more difficult than I had thought. I did it though and now I can navigate said chemo like a pro! (With an excessive amount of help from my awesome nurse, doctor, data coordinator and swellest of swell husbands). My navigation is group effort. But it works. Well. So I am happy. And life, which I totally love, like meatballs love spaghetti, social media loves grumpy cat and bananas love chicken soup..(Actually that last one is kinda a Monica thing but you get my point)…well life has a habit of getting in the way. Children to raise, a full time job to focus on, a husband to try to take care of, a household to pretend to clean and clinical trial chemotherapy to attempt to keep my drug challenged self focused on and staying within the protocols. Those are my excuses for my absence. I will try to not disappear for so long next time. I do however have such good news that I just know you will forgive me for all this.

Drum roll if you will…..

I have shown about 48% tumor shrinkage in those nasty tumors currently squatting in my liver! Can I get an AMEN? Hallelujah! Ok how about a very vigorous fist pump? Yep and yep so folks we have shrinkage! And the good kind not the kind men get after a cold swim or shower which they try to conveniently place their hands in front of themselves because hey don’t they always walk almost cupping themselves? Oh wait…I was discussing tumor shrinkage wasn’t I? See I digress so often. (I would like to say this is a side effect of chemo brain, but I would be lying. Honestly I always go off on tangents. ) But YES I have what the medical community calls partial response!! In fact my liver is starting to even look much more attractive and healthy now, almost like someone you would want to date. Soon I will have the Brad Pitt of livers. Awesomeness! This Unicorn is going to be taken off that endangered species list super de duper soon!
As one of my friends said, “The extreme joy of wowness”. That is where I am right now.

So my friends, folks and followers that is my current health news. However in “other” news….

On Monday and Tuesday of this week I attended with my super amazing awesomest of awesome husbands, my second annual Pancreatic cancer Advocacy Day. What it means in essence is that this week a whole heaping big gaggle of us descended upon our capital and meet with members of our government. Our goal? To prevent our already amazingly small funding for pancreatic cancer from becoming even more nearly non-existent. And to perhaps even persuade certain congressional members to actually entertain the notion of giving more funding to our very needy cancer cause. This is of course a very simplified explanation for what we did in our two days on Capitol Hill. But it works.

I think in my next blog I will stand upon my lovely little soapbox and tell you all the stats and science of my disease. But we can save that for later. I wouldn’t want your eyes to glaze over and drool to form at the corners of your mouth. If such a thing ever happens while reading my blog please first let me know because then I am doing something wrong and secondly please oh please take a picture of it…because that kind of stuff is pretty freaking funny!
Anyway, volunteering for this kind of thing is the most amazing experience. If anybody reading this has a chance…go out and join a cause. It would be great if it was for pancreatic cancer but if not, join any cause you hold close to your heart. It is such a life affirming thing to be a part of something bigger and better than just you alone. It is so wonderful to feel YOU made a difference. I cannot tell you what it does for your spirit. I want to make a difference. I want this nasty horrible disease I have to bring some good into this world.

It sucks moose balls that I have this disease. It truly does. I hate it. Honest I do. BUT… If some good can result from it? Then I don’t know if it is exactly worth it…I would rather have NEVER EVER had faced this monster…BUT if I can do something good with it…then maybe it is not truly so bad. So can I help other people? Get donations for research? Do some good with it???? Then hell yeah…I am willing do anything I can. Well almost anything..I draw the line at flashing people and co-ed mud wrestling. Other than that I think I am game.

There are some people that use this disease for their own purposes. Try to act like some kind of superstar. There are NO superstars of this disease. None of us are. We are unfortunate blokes who happen to be diagnosed with a crappy cancer. If we manage to live through it and survive and flourish then that is all shades of great. But otherwise? I do not strive to be an inspiration. I do not need accolades to reaffirm anything about myself. I am pretty confident. But if I can spread some joy and alleviate someone’s sadness than I am truly happy. If I can show people that having cancer does not mean the end of the world, then I have done something really good. But again it is not about me. It is about everyone else affected with this disease. It is about the next person diagnosed, it is about future generations… Sigh. Yes. There is still so much to talk about. But that is all for next week.

Till then, I will relay some sad news in another topic…I regret to inform you all of the loss of one of my precious glitter monkey socks. The Laundromat apparently either sacrificed it to the dryer gods or decided to hold my sock for ransom for a future occasion. Either way, soon enough I will exact my revenge on them…until then I am saddened by the loss and will continue in my quest for a new glitter monkey sock. They are harder to find then you can imagine!

News brief is officially over…catch you on the flip. Thanks for putting up with my nonsense and as always you rock my glitter monkey sock, sadly for now it is only one, but you still manage to rock it!